Beauty and the Man Killing Spider.

Do you think being unemployed is awesome? It's not.

If you think fear of rejection is the worst thing to ever happen to you, don't apply for jobs. I've decided to keep a running tally of my rejections. So far I'm up to 2! Groupon sent me a well-worded and almost-witty-except-for-the-fact-that-they're-crushing-my-dreams rejection.

So how do I console myself? I watch videos of spiders. Big hairy deadly ones.

If you're not too squicked out by spiders, you should find a video of them mating, it's actually quite lovely.

After that, I take a long hot shower and do this.

I sing that in the shower (and no I don't do the whole piano/glockenspiel bit in the shower).

The 8th layer of hell

Applying for jobs is a special layer of hell. You know how the 'worst' layer in Dante's Inferno is ice? He had it wrong. It looks like this instead:

You wake up early full of excitement and vigor. You CAN do what you want to do! (reach for the stars! follow your dreams! if life gives you lemons, rob a bank!) Today is the day you start your dream job. The internet practically sings as you type the illustrious letters into the top bar. G. O. O. G. L. E. The half a second to load is too long so you spend it fantasizing about making billions from your __________ (insert favorite thing ever in the blank).

You type. knitting jobs in chicago.

No luck.

You type. writing jobs in Chicago.

They require 10 years of experience and four arms.

You type. any job in Chicago?

This is where the internet laughs at you and you fall to the floor in convulsions.

Happy days of Ye Olde Times

This is where I take a deep breath and look at old pictures of knitting and how happy I was in the bright Colorado sun. I'm not entirely sure if I've posted this picture before, but that lovely green thing is a test knit. Want a link to the pattern? Yasmine.

Now back to writing vague descriptions of how awesome I am at everything.

The Luck of the Irish

Big news blogger-sphere, I got laid off from my job! That means I've spent a lot of time knitting (in between the crying).

I'm not completely unemployed though because I got a part time job at a bar two weeks ago. That means I am still a knitting weather BARista. Without the ista. Bartending is easy, but difficult. You know what sucks about it? Having a creepy 50 year old alcoholic say that you have a nice frame while he eyes you like a bowl of jello.

But the money is good and that's all life is about: making money. It's about making money and buying yarn and making beautiful socks for your bass playing friend.

I'd like to thank my male foot model roommate, Collin

 As you may know, last night was St. Patrick's day (St. Patricks? Does he own the day?). Because people like to drink copious amounts of alcohol and hit on girls, I decided it would be an optimal time to get dressed up and festive. So I present you with a rare picture of me all dolled up. I call this outfit, "Jello Shot Girl."

You should see what I have in store for you tomorrow. So much awesomeness your head will explode.