The 8th layer of hell

Applying for jobs is a special layer of hell. You know how the 'worst' layer in Dante's Inferno is ice? He had it wrong. It looks like this instead:

You wake up early full of excitement and vigor. You CAN do what you want to do! (reach for the stars! follow your dreams! if life gives you lemons, rob a bank!) Today is the day you start your dream job. The internet practically sings as you type the illustrious letters into the top bar. G. O. O. G. L. E. The half a second to load is too long so you spend it fantasizing about making billions from your __________ (insert favorite thing ever in the blank).

You type. knitting jobs in chicago.

No luck.

You type. writing jobs in Chicago.

They require 10 years of experience and four arms.

You type. any job in Chicago?

This is where the internet laughs at you and you fall to the floor in convulsions.

Happy days of Ye Olde Times

This is where I take a deep breath and look at old pictures of knitting and how happy I was in the bright Colorado sun. I'm not entirely sure if I've posted this picture before, but that lovely green thing is a test knit. Want a link to the pattern? Yasmine.

Now back to writing vague descriptions of how awesome I am at everything.