Delegates make me all philosophical. also shawls.

Even though I should be super frustrated, I am still super enamored with Mobile Makers. They've been giving us harder and harder projects and I'm still understanding. Which go me.

Anyways, remember how I was all like, "oh yea, segues are so easy, I am the best at them." I may have to amend that statement. I do get the general concept of them, but those paired with delegation make me a little iffy.

Delegation you ask? Yup. It's just like it sounds. It's when something makes something else do a task.... well sort of. It's actually super complicated and I'm just starting to wrap my head around. I'll probably post a clearer example once I start fully grasping it, but for now let me just give it my college try.

You have to use delegation when you are doing something in a different view  (or a different file) and want to know about it outside of that view (/file). I think it's a way to add more methods (making objects do things) that is cleaner and easier to break down. Some of the common objects we use all the time (view controller, table views, text fields) have delegates. These are already defined but generally I think of them as access to a level/power up. So with the objects 'built in' to objective c we can already do a  lot of stuff, but if we access their delegate we get to do ALL of their stuff.

Like Popeye. He is already a pretty good... sailor? Not really sure what he is. But then he eats spinach and he can do so much more stuff! Like knock people out... and other stuff. I'm not really up on my Popeye it would appear. But delegates are like spinach. We call them on a class and BOOM we can do way more.

From what I can tell, delegates are usually used when something is clicked or pushed and you want it to do something.

Phew. Right? That was all yesterday. We learned about delegates last week but yesterday we had to really learn them to build an app that basically just shows a different collection of tigers and lions when a corresponding button is clicked. WHICH IS SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS.

I think that's the main thing I've learned is that things that seem really easy are actually super complicated. I guess it makes sense because we think swiping to go to a new page makes sense, but we first had to learn how to see, how to make our finger move, and associate certain movements with certain results.

Think about being a baby. You didn't know anything as a baby (contrary to the movie Baby Geniuses). I was blown away a couple weeks ago when I learned that babies can't even recognize shapes until a couple months old. I mean that's why it takes so long to walk. Think about how complicated that is. But you don't even have to because your brain does it automatically.

Programming is making a brain. 

Ok.... you can tell I'm excited and into this right? So i'm going to be even nerdier right here. Because you know writing about knitting isn't nerdy enough.

I've always been fascinated by the brain. I've always been fascinated by philosophy and why things are how they are. And it turns out the programming is literally both of those.

Let me explain about the philosophy thing. (because the brain thing is explained up above sort of)

Philosophy takes abstract things and tries to make them concrete to be able to manipulate or solve problems. (I just blew my own brain writing that. I sound so deep and insightful)

Programming is wanting a computer or phone to do something. In order to do that, you have to conceptualize a lot of stuff. You have to break down the task into different actions and parts. You have to translate that into words (the programming language). And the programming language is telling the computer what ones and zeros and numbers to fire in order for it to accomplish things.

Why yes I am a little iffy on how programming languages and computers interact. However did you guess?

I realize there is no knitting here... but I am on the death marathon part of the shawl. For those of you unfamiliar with knitting, it's when you literally have a row that is 300 stitches and you have to add four stitches every other row in order to get to 400 stitches. You don't get a lot knit vertically and so your brain is like, "UGHHHH I just did one row and it took fifteen minutes and I have so many more of these".

Speaking of knitting... it might be time to switch to a sock as my portable project.

Spring Cleaning

I'm pretty sure knitters don't understand how much yarn they have at one time, let alone how many unfinished objects they have (UFOs). Yarn is pretty light and compact so it's easy to think that you don't really have enough and you can afford to buy just one more skein.

Me personally, I haven't bought much yarn in the past year. I have been on a bit of a fiber binge (1 lb of cotton, 1 lb of wool, assorted alpaca), but I've rationalized it by saying that I need it because I don't have as much fiber as I do yarn.

This past weekend I decided to organize my yarn stash.

Because.... Maybe it was a little out of control. But once I started going through my UFOs (unfinished objects for those slow readers out there), I found some things that I remembered the love and remembered the hurt.

Now these two projects above don't look too terrible. But let's microanalyze them. The hat looks quite lovely. It has a beautiful pattern and decent colors... The only problem is that it literally is too big for any normal human head. That entire hat either needs to find a Giant to wear it, or needs to be ripped out so I can reuse the yarn for something that could actually work. Next to it is an almost pair of socks. There is nothing obviously wrong about this project. The yarn is beautiful, the socks fit, the stitch pattern is interesting. The main problem? I ran out of yarn. That means I either have to spend twenty dollars to finish 1/4 of a sock, or rip out most of the first sock to finish the second. There is a third option. I could use some of my assorted leftover sock yarn to construct a not even remotely matching second sock. Which is not really an option.

Then I came across this red and pink mitten. It was a pain to knit. The yarn is much too thick for the needle size I used; which made knitting these like fitting a ham through a pin-needle (a feat I often attempt but never succeed).

Ergo. I have one mitten without a thumb.

Then you come across yarn that has decided to fraternize (yarn sex) with surrounding yarn (slutty yarn). This requires hours of untangling which would lead most mortals to insanity.

Luckily I'm not normal.

I love untangling yarn.


(spoiler alert. I'm a weirdo)

This is a lovely sock that stopped. Maybe I just needed some winding up.

These just need some finishing. And a baby.

This was a test knit that bored me to tears.

Although it's beautiful. and 3/4 of the way finished.

What do I end with? Knowledge that I should NOT buy more yarn until I make at least 30 more things.

In which I compare crack to socks and insure a Bronco victory.

I would talk about what I've been spinning lately, but I'm getting rather frustrated with it so I'm putting it on time out.

The thing with knitting is that sometimes you have to jump start yourself. I mean yes, I love knitting more than many things in my life and it brings me great joy and blah blah blah. But it can be a chore.

Do you know what you do when you fall out of love with something? You remind yourself what you like about it.

Color. 

Nick has hairy man legs.

I adore color. This particularly beautiful skein of sock yarn includes a lot of my favorite colors: lime green, dark blue, red... 

There were two things in that sentence that gave me back my knitting mojo. Color and sock yarn. 

Socks are crack to knitters. They are portable, relatively quick, easy and interesting, and beautiful. That is why less than a week after starting this exquisite form of crack.... I have:

The socks that will cause the Broncos to win the Superbowl. You're welcome Colorado.

Hooker shoes, spiders, and packing... oh my

 This is what my life looks like. That is a picture of all of my possessions before I loaded them into my car. I am pleased to announce that approximately 1/3 of my stuff is related to knitting.

The other 2/3 is clothes and books and such.

I think this is pretty awesome. Not only because yarn is super easy to pack, but also because if I ever wanted to pack up and leave, all I have to do is throw stuff in my car. I don't want to be defined by my possessions. Unless, of course, I am defined by my yarn possessions. I'm ok with that.

Speaking of how awesome I am. I recently finished a pair of knee high socks that are beyond fabulous. I test knit the pattern for Atalante.

I have never worn these shoes out and probably never will. But they make awesome sock model shoes.

I added this picture because you can see my retarded dog.  He's adorable, but retarded.

That's right folks, there are spiders on the back of these.

see, spiders aren't scary

Little known fact: When I was a child I wanted to be an etymologist** (bug scientist).

** and by etymologist, I mean entomologist. (thanks to Lizz for catching typos!)

Answers to your biggest questions

Want to know what your iced drinks from Starbucks look like after you let them sit for a few hours? This.

Time for science kids! That top layer is water, and the bottom is something liquid that comes out of your bottom (more specifically your anus). Just kidding. But this is what those drinks look like and this isn't even a ridiculously disgusting one. If you have any syrup in it usually there are like five more layers in a brownish hue. So remember, think before you drink.

The other big news of today is that I have accomplished something incredible. Any guesses as to what I did? While you're thinking, here is a picture of how awesome I was with my Christmas knitting.

To answer that burning question on your brain, yes I did knit that all in one day. Also, yes that mug is from Starbucks. I think it's the coolest mug I own.

So now that you have thought and wondered about what I accomplished today I'm going to tell you. Aren't things better when you wait for them? Life lessons from Jen.

Today... I knit while I drove.

Fun fact: knitting while driving is clinically safer than texting while driving.